Things to remember on your journey to self-love

In a society that profits off your self-doubt, 

loving yourself is an act of rebellion.

In today’s fast-paced competitive world where everyone strives to be perfect and better than everyone else, it is important to take a step back and be kind to yourself. We often forget that as humans, we need love and affection not just from others but from our own self too. Self-love does not happen overnight, it’s a process. A process that takes years of labour. For me, the process is ongoing. I still haven’t fully learned to love myself. I haven’t fully let go of my anxieties and previously held shallow beliefs. Even today, I often catch myself looking in the mirror and worrying if I look beautiful enough, even if no one is around. But I was conditioned that way. By my mom, dad, by my grandparents and everyone around me. I was conditioned that way by those huge fairness cream banners screaming at me that fair is beautiful and dark is not. For years I repressed my true self because I believed that my scars, my body type, the colour of my skin was not beautiful enough that I deserved to be loved. But after years of agony, I finally realized that I deserved to be treated better. And if I wanted to be treated better by others, I first needed to learn to respect and love myself. Here are things you need to remember on your journey of self-love and body positivity:

1 Accept that you are not perfect. You are not perfect. And you don’t have to be. We all make mistakes and learn from them. It’s human nature. You must forgive yourself to truly love what makes you human; what makes you, YOU.

2 Be mindful. You have to keep a non-judgemental attitude and be open to new experiences. Be more cognizant.

3 Create a positive community. We are humans; we can’t do anything ourselves. Other than myself, my biggest supporters in my ‘self-love’ journey have been the people I surround myself with. Surround yourself with positive energy, people who not only make you forget about your worries and insecurities but also at times, make you feel better about them.

4 Don’t hesitate to cut toxic people out of your life. I know it will be hard, especially if the person used to be an integral part of your life. But in the end, you have to do what is best for yourself. If they make you insecure, anxious, depressed, and/or frustrated; break contact with them. If you can’t at least minimize your interactions with them. This does not make you a bad person and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

5 Don’t compare. The thing about us humans is that very few of us put our true selves out in the open. What we see of people around us; there’s always a behind-the-scenes that we don’t know. Thus we often end up confusing our own behind-the-scenes with other people’s “perfect”, flawless and edited Tv shows; with just the right music and drama and the fireworks of it all. You have to realize that everyone has bad days, no human can be “perfect”.

6 Follow body-positive, self-care social media accounts. Whether you like to admit it or not social media is a HUGE part of our lives. On average Indians spend 70% of their time on social media and if it is not used carefully, it takes a toll on our mental health fuelling us with hatred and toxicity. But there’s also a positive aspect of social media, especially Instagram. Instead of following toxic, cookie-cutter, ‘influencer’ accounts that promote often harmful content (and lead to point #5) follow accounts that promote mental health awareness, body-positivity, self-care, and self-compassion. There are many accounts that I follow on Instagram that have helped me so much to learn to love myself, a few of them being @i_weigh by Jameela Jamil and @werenotreallystrangers (this account has helped me a LOT with my anxiety!). There are many more that help keep me grounded, calm, and always remind me to be kind to myself and others.

7 Self-love does not mean hatred towards others. You cannot lift yourself up by pushing others down. You should not learn to love your curves while bashing someone thinner to feel better about yourself. It’s 2019 and it’s about time we are inclusive of ALL body types, skin colours and lift each other up as a society.

Life is too short to spend it at war with yourself.

Written by,

Rtr, Sayali Korgoankar,

Rotaract Club of Thane Hills.